Marital Abuse --YOU HAVE THE POWER

Getting yourself out of an busive relationship is difficult, but when there is a marriage involved, the steps become more complicated. Emotionally, you have your own possible ambivalence to contend with, as well as the continuing programming and influence of your abuser to deal with. However, if you are feeling increasingly inferior, incompetent, or even crazy around your partner, leaving may be the best option to preserve your emotional, physical and mental well being.


Of course, if you feel there is any chance that the emotional abuse may turn into physical (which happens in alot of cases), please contact a counselor who specializes in domestic violence issues, or a domestic violence shelter to construct a "safe plan" for escape. Otherwise, know it will be a rocky road, but you will make it through.  There are alot of ways you can help right here in Trinidad , use your resources.

Nobody has the right to lay their hands on you. There is nothing on the marriage license that says that because you are marrying this person that you have to endure a lifetime of being abused by them. A marriage is supposed to be a commitment for two people who love each other and make each other happy. The first time a man would even think of laying his hands on you, you should be out of there.

My advice to you all who are being abused. I really think you should contact the police and inform them about the abuse. Do Not give in to the "I am sorry" slogan thats what abusers do ..ALL THE TIME. Don't be scared to act, especially if you don't want your children  to grow up in a dysfunctional home. Have your entire family get a restraining order against him.He is not worth anything and you need to get out with your children if you have any.Once the court finds out how abusive  he is, he will not get custody.Find a woman’s shelter, a friend’s home, or a new home of your own. Safely time your move and keep your new address from your husband. (800-SAVE Domestic hotline in T&T for info on shelters). The process might be mentally tasking and difficult but its worth it in the end .

Get a cell phone. Don’t give the number to your husband. Block your number so it isn’t available to people you call. Only give your number to trustworthy family and friends.  I know most females dont like this but talk with your employer about the situation to prevent the inadvertent disclosure of personal information to your husband. Express the need to keep the information confidential, disclosing it only to those who would potentially have contact with your husband. Take all important documents with you and KEEP IT SAFE.


Change is never easy; especially if you've been mentally and physically beaten down, you may not believe you can do it. Look to stories of women who've made it out for inspiration.....YOU DESERVE BETTER