Insecurity is not a trait limited to women. There are many men who are also insecure, especially if they perceive themselves to be the lesser partner in a relationship. But most often, it seems to be women who are the more insecure of the species.
Insecurity is damaging to a relationship especially when it is totally unjustified. If a woman is insecure and constantly finding fault with her partner as a result, there will come a point when he will get fed up trying to placate her and prefer being with someone who is more deserving of his affection.
But if insecurity is one of her only failings (and you could do worse), it might help to assess the extent of the problem and conduct some damage control. If you are in a relationship and you notice some of these tell-tale signs, without ever having given her reason to feel this way, you are dealing with an insecure woman.
She is always needy. She depends on you for everything and makes you aware of it. She is clingy and wants to be around you all the time.
She is often plagued with doubts about her self-worth and suffers from low self-esteem.
She is suspicious of your every move and you feel you have to account to her for everything.
She often wants access to all your personal communication, cell phone messages, etc.
She makes you feel on edge because you have to be on your guard or defend yourself to her.
She often accuses you of being tempted to cheat on her or of actually being unfaithful and you have never done anything to warrant it.
She complains of being neglected or feeling left out of your life.
While most of us are insecure about something, be it our looks, intelligence or popularity, we tend to deal with it and get on with our lives. We are aware that we are lacking in a certain department, but also reassure ourselves that we compensate for it in another area. Insecurity becomes a problem when it assumes larger-than-life proportions and verges on paranoia. It is worth examining the problem and getting to the root cause of the insecurity, just as any paranoia can be traced to certain deep-rooted fears.
Most often, insecurity stems from a basic lack of confidence. A feeling of just not being good enough and not being able to measure up to expectations, more from the woman herself, than from any external source. It could be early childhood experiences like a harsh growing-up environment, being orphaned, negligent foster care, an abusive parent or being denied love and still craving it.
Sometimes a woman becomes insecure due to severe criticism, either from parents or siblings, that she’s too lazy or inefficient or totally lacking in looks for anyone to ever be attracted to her. Or she may have become insecure more recently when a relationship went sour and she got dumped, or found out that her boyfriend was cheating on her.
Saturday, September 11, 2010
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